un*con*di*tion*al [uhn-kuh n-dish–uh-nl]
1. Not unlimited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise
2. without conditions or limitations; total: unconditional surrender
This is such a big word. Not just in length. It is so charged. The meaning can be so profound and hard to wrap your head around.
I have been pondering it lately. I have been speaking to a lot of clients that have really high standards. A lot of the time, this translates into high expectations. More often than not, this leads to feelings of disappointment. Of crushed expectations.
This was how I used to live. In constant anger. Actually, lots of rage. You know the scene in Kill Bill where she literally sees red?
Yup, that’s how I felt a lot of the time. Ready to pounce. Ready to get lose my shit on any unsuspecting person. You can ask my friends from that time…I was just angry. I was known to start swearing at random people in Spanish. And i’m not even that good at it.
The sermon in church today was about coming as you are. And I cried. A really awesome release in a beautiful moment. And I became so aware of my ugly past. And I realized how liberating it is to live my life without worry. Without expectations. Loving unconditionally.
I don’t always live like this. I know that I have shortcomings and sometimes I lose my temper. But I do know that when I focus on all the good things – eating right, exercising, reading books about growth, writing, daily devotions, etc. – that good things come out. And that means only having high expectations of myself, not of others. I know that people are only who they are, and I can only change me. I am only in charge of myself, and on this journey, I hope that I can inspire others to want the best for themselves too.
Where can you let go of your expectations of others? Where can you let people be? Where can you control your reaction when others don’t act the way you would? What has helped you to remember that you are only in charge of yourself?