It has been an interesting week. Well, interesting is one perspective. I actually had a series of ups and downs and I focused on the downs. And I started to over think everything and analyze why everything was happening. Which caused more of focusing on the downs. Even though i’m a life coach, I still have those days, which makes me human…but frustrated at some points that I just can’t move out of it.
Well, Sunday comes along and I really didn’t want to go to church. Lately, I’ve been feeling far away from God, and not really sure why. Regardless, I really wanted to stay in bed, pull up the covers and sleep. Anyway, since I sing in the choir, I had to go. And I was resenting it all. I was totally into myself and my feelings, which is not like me…I don’t like feeling like that.
Anyway, as I walk in, one problem that has been plaguing me is present. I had a feeling that the problem would be present that day – another reason I didn’t want to go. This has been such a lesson in following your gut and saying what you feel the first time you feel it. But I didn’t. And now it’s months later and I am still dealing with this uncomfortable feeling, all because I didn’t say what I meant right away. I didn’t respect my own boundaries. Ugh.
I practice. I greet. The conversation I was dreading having was had. And all the feelings was plaguing me came up to the surface and I cried. Thank goodness it was in front of a friend – a really dear friend. And she supported me, and let me cry and acknowledged me for the beautiful person I am.
Then I went up and started singing with the choir, but too many tears wanted to come down, so I left and went to the bathroom. Dear friend came to support me again. She prayed for me.
I went to the nursery as I didn’t want to go into the sanctuary, and an acquaintance of mine was there with her son. We were talking and I cried again and she listened and supported me too. She prayed with me too.
Finally the tears subsided, and I met a lady when she came into the nursery with her daughter who happens to live near me and is around my age. I love making those types of connections. I found out that I needed to go to church that day, not that I had to. God knew I needed to be supported and he put those amazing people in my path that would help me feel loved.
Today I was thinking about what happened and it still wasn’t clear why everything happened yesterday. Then I spoke to a friend who is dealing with illness in her family and I was reminded about how blessed I am to be a support for her and her family, and how I am at my best when I am in service of others. It also reminded me that everything I’m going through is not even that important when compared to what she is going through.
Nothing like a healthy dose of perspective.
I guess the reason i’m writing this is to remind myself (and those who read this) that whatever you are going through will help someone else. Your story is all you need to inspire. What story will you tell?
I would encourage you to share your struggles, your hurt, your pain. Share the ups, the downs, the good, the bad and the ugly. You may get people who judge you and try to bring you down. But if one person is inspired, it was all worth it. And if you open yourself up and make yourself vulnerable, you will be able to receive all the goodness that is coming your way.